Win with the Rebels

Rebel season is in full swing here at the Leavitt household.

Proof:

1. Our nights consist of pretend basketball games where Dixon and I are the bad team and Sawyer is his player of choice from the Rebels. Cue Ben Carter, Berry Chenny, Chris Wood, and Dantley.

2. He studies his roster (which he lovingly calls his homework) and then asks me to quiz him to see if he knows all the players and their numbers.

3. He asks me at least three times a day to announce him as a rebel player when he walks into a room.

4. A new Rebel poster adorns his bedroom walls.

5. Our new form of discipline includes threatening to not let him go to the next rebel basketball game. It works quite nicely. Examples: if you are going to throw fits, no rebel game. If you don't pick up your toys, no rebel game.

6. He will do just about anything if you tell him the rebel players do it. Examples: rebel players take loooong naps. Rebel players take baths. Rebel players listen to this song. Rebel players like to go grocery shopping. Rebel players wear handsome skinny jeans to preschool. Rebel players let their moms go to the gym so they have happy moms. Rebel players build Legos by themselves so their mommies can get their jobs done.

7. I am asked repeatedly when I am going to wash his rebel jersey. It's a rebel miracle I can even get it off him to wash it. Refer back to #1.

I never thought I would know so much about basketball. But you know how it goes, "if you can't beat em, join em!"

Go Rebels!

- Shay

Late Night Date Night

Sawyer and I found ourselves at Walmart last night at 8:30. I pulled in the parking lot and Sawyer informed me he was so excited to get the sprite he earned for taking his nap (I'm ok with bribery. And my boy will do anything for a sprite), but first he really needed to go potty. My insides squirmed. Not the potty at Walmart, anything but the potty at Walmart!! I asked him if he could hold it... He replied with "uh.... ya. Ya, I really think so mom."

Cue Walmart potty.

After a very thorough hand washing, we grabbed the boy a sprite and made our way to the toy section. We've been doing this a lot these days. This boy's birthday is coming up. And christmas. So we go and walk around. I watch him looking for that "spark" that will tell me that is THE toy. You know the toy that makes your heart go all squishy when you open it? And I have yet to see the spark. We've been to all the stores: TJ Maxx, Target, Toys R Us, Walmart. You name it, we've been there. And still, the only thing that seems to whisper to him is the sports aisle. But how many basketballs can you get a boy before they start taking over your house?

It's quite the conundrum.

He kept asking me if it was super late and past his bed time. I answered that question at least ten times. And when I would reply "yep it is almost past mom's bedtime" he would get the cheesiest grin and slurp his sprite and walk a few more steps to look at the next toy.

And me? Well I had the cheesiest grin on my face too... Because I know these are moments he will remember. Stayin out late with his sprite and his Ma.






Now to find that toy..... Wish me luck. And coupons too.

-Shay

Finding a new balance

I have been on a long search for myself this year.  What is it with the age of 25 that makes you freeze hard in your tracks like a deer in the headlights... making you reevaluate your whole life and everything you are doing.  I think that I have had more conversations with myself this past year than i've had with myself over my lifetime.  A dear friend gave me the analogy that it feels like i'm on one of those hampster spinning wheels and I am trying to find the exit so that I can start living and stop spinning.

My role as a mother has changed this year.  I am no longer needed so much physically.  My little just isn't so little any more, and yet he is still so little.  He can get himself a "cold drink" of water (because heaven forbid you get him a warm drink).  He can get his shoes on by himself (except for when he want;s his shoes on "super tight" because only mom can make them perfectly super tight).  He can wash his hands by himself with NO less than 2 pumps of soap.  He has quite the opinion of how he dresses and no longer wants me to pick out his outfits.  He has his own little social life with the cutest little friends and would often prefer to play with them over me... except when his friends fight, then I am always his choice.  He is becoming his own little person.  Quite possibly the coolest little person I know.  Where does that leave me?  I am there to kiss the ouchies, to encourage him to spread his wings a little and to try new things. I am there to give "huggie loves" and dry the tears when feelings are hurt.  I am there to drive him to preschool and pick him up with a yummy snack and hug in tote.  I am there to introduce him to new songs so we can have a "jam sesh."  But my heart... my heart is in a pretzel.  I am trying hard to live in the moment, to soak him up... but I feel like it's dripping through my fingers.  I am trying to find a new balance.

My role as an employee has changed this year.  I went from a job that was stressful, challenging, and very long hours... that I was reallllly good at.  I worked there for 5 years and was the top performer for years in a row.  It felt good to be good at something, to be that special person that people turn to when they have a question because they know you have the answer.  It was a place where I felt like I was liked and valued.  A place where I pushed myself to my max every time I was there.  A place where I was stretched and made uncomfortable.  It was a place where I had to stand up hard for what I believed in.  And I left it all.  I left it all for my family.  It was a good change for our family dynamic, and I feel extremely blessed to be in the position where I could put in my resignation because of my own choice and not have my resignation be decided for me.  But I am struggling to fill that space a little bit.  I miss learning something new every day.  I miss failing miserably only to turn around and prove that I could do it right.  I miss chatting with my customers and co-workers and hearing about their day.  I found new employment right after putting in my resignation where I get to choose my hours and come and go as I please, a low stress environment, with bosses that truly value me.  But I am alone there... I sit in an office all by myself and my mind is not being stretched.  Am I grateful for this change that I chose?  Absolutely.  Do I love having more time with Sawyer and our family?  Absolutely.  But I am trying to find a new balance.

My role as wife has changed this year from a partner in our income to more of a dependant on my partner to get us through.  To be more of a support in the home and not as big of a financial support.  I am learning.  In our 6+ years of marriage I have always been an equal as far as our income is concerned.  We have leaned on each other to be financially sound.  And while we still lean on each other, I am now leaning a lot harder on him as far as our finances are concerned.  I am trying to find a new balance.

I have been absent this year from this space as I am trying to find a new voice.  A strong voice.  An alive voice.  Change is good.  We grow the most when there is change.  Change is necessary to help mold us into our best selves.  This space is going to change a bit.  I still want it to be a place where I record our family's happenings.  But I also want this to be a space where I stretch myself a little bit to work through these complicated feelings of growth with some humor and many ramblings.  Ramblings of Shay.  I want to worry less about what other people think of me and share from my heart.  Because the one thing I have learned this year is we all have a whole lot going on in our hearts that we can share.  A whole lot of lovin, of cheerleading, of empathy, of creativity, of spontaneity, of spunkiness... and I want this to be a place where I can connect with all those things in my heart.

So here I go... taking a big step to finding a new voice. Finding a new balance.  I am ready.

2013

As we wrap up another year I am amazed yet again at how fast time seems to pass by. Everybody said when we have kids time will speed up, I just didn't realize it would speed up that fast.
2013 brought with it so many blessings, challenges, and truly helped to stretch me in ways I wasn't extremely comfortable with. I like the person I am today far better than the one that left 2012. I'm in a better place. I hope to say the same thing for every year that passes.
And now some highlights from our 2012.

-Sawyer and I traveled up to Utah in January while Dixon made a getaway to Mexico with his coworkers.
- February Dixon and I took our very first trip without Sawyer. It was much needed, but just about broke my heart.
- the boy finally fit into his cowboy boots. I've been waiting for that moment since he was born.




We've been shooting a lot of hoops this year. We graduated from the Little Tikes hoop to Bompi's basketball hoop.


My Grandpa Silcox passed away in April. Haven't faced a lot of death, and found myself stretched a little bit. I was so grateful we were able to get p to Utah to celebrate his life.


Sawyer and I took our first spontaneous adventure together in May. I was able to reconnect with a dear friend, and it was so much fun to be spontaneous with my little.


We hiked to the top of lone mountain. sawyer hiked all by his lonesome to the very tip top.


Dixon and I celebrated our 5 year anniversary by going to San Francisco. I loved it there, something about that place made my spirit spark to life. And Sawyer was spoiled to have Grandma Beck and Sydnee all to himself while we were away!





We celebrated the fourth of July in Utah this year, where we convinced Landon to cheer on the Giants. Oh those two. Landon is Sawyer's buddy.


My toddler turned into a big boy and got a big boy bed. That one was so hard for me. My heart hasn't ever been as heavy as it was when I took his crib down. I just wasn't ready.


Made our way to Disneyland in July where we were spoiled by my employer. Sawyer was in high heaven. He still talks about it.



My sisters made a spontaneous day trip to Vegas in August. I'm starting to be quite fond of spontaneous trips. It really does ignite something in my spirit. How lucky am I to call these ladies my sisters?!


We spent a week with the Leavitt family in Oceanside. Watching my boy in the sand. The end.


Traveled with the Leavitt girls in August for a day trip to LA to see Taylor Swift. This trip was seriously a blast and a half. Can't wait to do that again!


Sawyer learned how to swim all by himself this summer! So
Round of my little fish!


I made my first ever batch of cinnamon rolls and they were a success. Huge moment for me.


We watched a lot of garbage trucks this year.


Cheered on our Rebels.


Had the honor of having mom come to visit in October. Nothing wire like your mom. They just know your heart.



Dressed up as a baseball player for Halloween this year. My boy is all about his jersey's these days.


I completed another half marathon in October and beat my time from last year. So grateful to have my boys cheering me on. It was a perfect way to boost my confidence in my body before having surgery in November.


Cheering on our Rebs some more.


I got to meet my brand new nephew in November. Baby Beck. Don't even get me started on how much I love him already.


Had a basketball birthday for our favorite player. Cant believe he is three!





Spent Christmas up in Utah this year.





And here we are. Already ending day one of the New Year. My heart is so full. We are so blessed. It is with excitement I welcome 2014. I like new beginnings. I like clean slates. I hope to be able to follow through more on my commitments this year. To be more reliable. That is my goal this year.

Bring it on 2014.

Oh there's no place like home for the holidays

This year for Christmas Dixon and I both had the whole week off, so we journeyed on up to Utah. It's probably been 5 years since we have both been in Utah for that long of a time and we had a blast.
Whenever I travel to Utah I usually have a hard time enjoying the moment. I'm too busy being sad or anxious that the days are slipping by and that we will have to go back to real life soon. But this trip... This trip was magical. I truly enjoyed every moment. And there was no wasted energy on being sad that I live so far from this family I love so much.

We stopped to visit Dixon's Grammy on our way up. We gave her a poinsettia and sang her the Rebel fight song. I think she was so grateful for our visit, and I imagine she was singing right along with us.



This is the first Christmas since my Grandpa Silcox passed. And with that realization, lots of emotions swam through my head when we went out to Tooele to have dinner with my grandma. I have such fond memories of the two of my grandparents. There aren't any memories I have of just one or the other, they were always side by side. My grandma did a great job on his headstone, and I enjoyed visiting with him and wishing him a merry christmas. It's still so weird that he's gone. I kept looking up expecting him to come walking into the room when we were at grandma's house. Sometimes this whole growing up thing brings so many growing pains.


So I was needing my hair colored in bad ways, and Kenadee wants to go to hair school and had stuff for bleaching my hair... So I asked her to do my hair. She was so nervous. She's never even done color or highlights before. But I knew she could do it. And she did a great job. I will be going back to her again soon. Just one more reason to go back to Utah.
Sawyer loved the snow. We had two days of snow before Christmas, and we took advantage of it. Dixon and I had a snowball fight. And the boys built a snowman with the other little chicks. Oh snow. It does my heart good. Crisp air, beautiful scenery. Sigh.








Okay, this next picture I am framing. Didn't even plan to have us all matching. We all got ready and I looked around and said "family picture day!!" The boys were good sports. Family pictures are not their most favorite.


Syd is Sawyer's buddy and she rode with us to all the family parties. Sawyer loved having some attention in the car. He especially loved playing on her phone.


This is what happens when you take off your snow hat. I like to caption this picture with "it's Christmas. I'm so excited!"


Grandma Kathy is so cute with sawyer. He had so much fun with all my little cousins. I can never get a good picture there because the lighting is pretty bad. But we had a great time. We always go to grandma's on Christmas eve. Wouldn't quite be Christmas without it!


Dixon finally got to meet Baby Beck. Oh that baby. I love him like my own. I had a hard time sharing with everyone. I just wanted him all to myself so I could love on him and rock him and study every detail of his changing little self. Ky and Nate are the cutest parents, so in sync with one another.


And this my friends is sawyer's big gift this year. It went right by the Christmas tree and when he saw it he didn't want to open anything else. And that is one of the thins I love about kids. They don't need much. I'm trying to be more like a child in that regard.


I don't have any pictures of Christmas morning. I was too wrapped up In watching my little three year old soak in the magic. Santa spoiled us this year. Mom and dad still make it a point to make it magical. My heart is so full. I don't know where to start. There is something about being in the home I grew up in with all my siblings there that just did me in. I know those Christmases will be getting fewer and farther between as everyone gets married and has children of their own.

Syd and I have always been "s buddies" because our names both start with s. When she was born I told my mom her name had to start with an s because she had two "k's" and two "L's". And so they named her Sydnee. We call her Siddle... Like skittle. And when she was a baby I was her mom. Ok not really, but I loved her like a mother, I carried her everywhere. There are very few pictures at that time when I do not have Syd with me. I would come home from school and want to hold her and love her. And now she's the big 12?! When did that happen? Anywho. Mom got us matching S sweaters so we can increase our S buddy love.


Dixon and I took advantage of free babysitters and went to the Bountiful temple. We haven't been there since we were sealed nearly 5 1/2 years ago. So many memories came flooding back. That was the temple I went to every week in high school with my dear friend. I have learned a lot about myself there. My testimony has grown there. I married my best friend there. My family is forever because we went there. I love it there.


We went to temple square to see the lights. And I was surprised at how warm I was. I thought for sure I would freeze. Like snot turning to icecicles freeze. But it was just perfect. We parked at City Creek and walked over. Sawyer loved those fountains.


Ok let's talk about how happy my my heart is when I look at this picture. We are just missing Ky, Nate, and Beck. It was a little too chilly for Beck so they opted to stay home. But seriously, this picture. Mom and dad were married there many years ago. I am so grateful to be a part of this forever family. And as we grow and and our family changes, I am reminded that it all started with two love birds and their righteous choice to be sealed in that temple.


Dixon took Sawyer to Boondocks so I could love on Beck. The kid was in high heaven. Mini bowling and basketball for days. Dixon said he was a hoot. I love that my husband will take him and do things with him. They are such good friends.





And Beck. Let's talk about how scrumptious he is! His little cheeks have filled out a little since I last saw him, his eyes are lightening up I'm thinking blue. And his baby hair is turning blonde like his mommy and daddy. He is so sweet. He doesn't fuss very much, and he loves his mommy. It was so fun to just watch Kylee with him. She has the mother's touch and knows whatevery cry means. I just couldn't get enough of him. Held him at dinner while everyone ate so I could get more time with him. I love him like my own.


And those were the hilights. Let's not eave out late nights beating Lyndee at speed and Dixon beating Cam at basketball. Or being fed like kings. Seriously my dad put on quite the spread. Or making Carmel apples with mom and Syd: a small project turned big. Or that time we took a family picture at night, outside, in 20 degree cold. Or the magic that surrounded us on Christmas Eve when testimonies were shared and our family unit was strengthened. I hope I never forget the way dad's eyes twinkled when we opened a gift we weren't expecting, or mom's quiet happiness emanating from her to have all her kids under the same roof. I hope I never forget how I feel so welcome and loved in their home. I hope I never forget how Lyndee is so good about getting out there and doing something. And How much of a tease my tall brother is. I hope I don't forget how happy Ky was to have me in her home. Every trip home fills me to the brim and propels me forward. To be better. To do better. And this trip was no exception.

And because my husband is awesome he took this picture of me in the car. I'm exhausted. In the good exhausted kind of way.


And Santa wasn't done. Sawyer came home to find Santa had left a gift by our tree. Can't wait to see what he cooks up!


I am so grateful for this season. For our Savior who loves us. And for the opportunity it gives us to draw closer as a family and make memories together that bind us together.

Merry Christmas!