Win with the Rebels

Rebel season is in full swing here at the Leavitt household.

Proof:

1. Our nights consist of pretend basketball games where Dixon and I are the bad team and Sawyer is his player of choice from the Rebels. Cue Ben Carter, Berry Chenny, Chris Wood, and Dantley.

2. He studies his roster (which he lovingly calls his homework) and then asks me to quiz him to see if he knows all the players and their numbers.

3. He asks me at least three times a day to announce him as a rebel player when he walks into a room.

4. A new Rebel poster adorns his bedroom walls.

5. Our new form of discipline includes threatening to not let him go to the next rebel basketball game. It works quite nicely. Examples: if you are going to throw fits, no rebel game. If you don't pick up your toys, no rebel game.

6. He will do just about anything if you tell him the rebel players do it. Examples: rebel players take loooong naps. Rebel players take baths. Rebel players listen to this song. Rebel players like to go grocery shopping. Rebel players wear handsome skinny jeans to preschool. Rebel players let their moms go to the gym so they have happy moms. Rebel players build Legos by themselves so their mommies can get their jobs done.

7. I am asked repeatedly when I am going to wash his rebel jersey. It's a rebel miracle I can even get it off him to wash it. Refer back to #1.

I never thought I would know so much about basketball. But you know how it goes, "if you can't beat em, join em!"

Go Rebels!

- Shay

Late Night Date Night

Sawyer and I found ourselves at Walmart last night at 8:30. I pulled in the parking lot and Sawyer informed me he was so excited to get the sprite he earned for taking his nap (I'm ok with bribery. And my boy will do anything for a sprite), but first he really needed to go potty. My insides squirmed. Not the potty at Walmart, anything but the potty at Walmart!! I asked him if he could hold it... He replied with "uh.... ya. Ya, I really think so mom."

Cue Walmart potty.

After a very thorough hand washing, we grabbed the boy a sprite and made our way to the toy section. We've been doing this a lot these days. This boy's birthday is coming up. And christmas. So we go and walk around. I watch him looking for that "spark" that will tell me that is THE toy. You know the toy that makes your heart go all squishy when you open it? And I have yet to see the spark. We've been to all the stores: TJ Maxx, Target, Toys R Us, Walmart. You name it, we've been there. And still, the only thing that seems to whisper to him is the sports aisle. But how many basketballs can you get a boy before they start taking over your house?

It's quite the conundrum.

He kept asking me if it was super late and past his bed time. I answered that question at least ten times. And when I would reply "yep it is almost past mom's bedtime" he would get the cheesiest grin and slurp his sprite and walk a few more steps to look at the next toy.

And me? Well I had the cheesiest grin on my face too... Because I know these are moments he will remember. Stayin out late with his sprite and his Ma.






Now to find that toy..... Wish me luck. And coupons too.

-Shay

Finding a new balance

I have been on a long search for myself this year.  What is it with the age of 25 that makes you freeze hard in your tracks like a deer in the headlights... making you reevaluate your whole life and everything you are doing.  I think that I have had more conversations with myself this past year than i've had with myself over my lifetime.  A dear friend gave me the analogy that it feels like i'm on one of those hampster spinning wheels and I am trying to find the exit so that I can start living and stop spinning.

My role as a mother has changed this year.  I am no longer needed so much physically.  My little just isn't so little any more, and yet he is still so little.  He can get himself a "cold drink" of water (because heaven forbid you get him a warm drink).  He can get his shoes on by himself (except for when he want;s his shoes on "super tight" because only mom can make them perfectly super tight).  He can wash his hands by himself with NO less than 2 pumps of soap.  He has quite the opinion of how he dresses and no longer wants me to pick out his outfits.  He has his own little social life with the cutest little friends and would often prefer to play with them over me... except when his friends fight, then I am always his choice.  He is becoming his own little person.  Quite possibly the coolest little person I know.  Where does that leave me?  I am there to kiss the ouchies, to encourage him to spread his wings a little and to try new things. I am there to give "huggie loves" and dry the tears when feelings are hurt.  I am there to drive him to preschool and pick him up with a yummy snack and hug in tote.  I am there to introduce him to new songs so we can have a "jam sesh."  But my heart... my heart is in a pretzel.  I am trying hard to live in the moment, to soak him up... but I feel like it's dripping through my fingers.  I am trying to find a new balance.

My role as an employee has changed this year.  I went from a job that was stressful, challenging, and very long hours... that I was reallllly good at.  I worked there for 5 years and was the top performer for years in a row.  It felt good to be good at something, to be that special person that people turn to when they have a question because they know you have the answer.  It was a place where I felt like I was liked and valued.  A place where I pushed myself to my max every time I was there.  A place where I was stretched and made uncomfortable.  It was a place where I had to stand up hard for what I believed in.  And I left it all.  I left it all for my family.  It was a good change for our family dynamic, and I feel extremely blessed to be in the position where I could put in my resignation because of my own choice and not have my resignation be decided for me.  But I am struggling to fill that space a little bit.  I miss learning something new every day.  I miss failing miserably only to turn around and prove that I could do it right.  I miss chatting with my customers and co-workers and hearing about their day.  I found new employment right after putting in my resignation where I get to choose my hours and come and go as I please, a low stress environment, with bosses that truly value me.  But I am alone there... I sit in an office all by myself and my mind is not being stretched.  Am I grateful for this change that I chose?  Absolutely.  Do I love having more time with Sawyer and our family?  Absolutely.  But I am trying to find a new balance.

My role as wife has changed this year from a partner in our income to more of a dependant on my partner to get us through.  To be more of a support in the home and not as big of a financial support.  I am learning.  In our 6+ years of marriage I have always been an equal as far as our income is concerned.  We have leaned on each other to be financially sound.  And while we still lean on each other, I am now leaning a lot harder on him as far as our finances are concerned.  I am trying to find a new balance.

I have been absent this year from this space as I am trying to find a new voice.  A strong voice.  An alive voice.  Change is good.  We grow the most when there is change.  Change is necessary to help mold us into our best selves.  This space is going to change a bit.  I still want it to be a place where I record our family's happenings.  But I also want this to be a space where I stretch myself a little bit to work through these complicated feelings of growth with some humor and many ramblings.  Ramblings of Shay.  I want to worry less about what other people think of me and share from my heart.  Because the one thing I have learned this year is we all have a whole lot going on in our hearts that we can share.  A whole lot of lovin, of cheerleading, of empathy, of creativity, of spontaneity, of spunkiness... and I want this to be a place where I can connect with all those things in my heart.

So here I go... taking a big step to finding a new voice. Finding a new balance.  I am ready.