My mother instilled in me the desire to aim high, to never give up on myself, and to keep trying.


I hope I can instill that in my own son.

Aim high, never give up, and keep trying. And remember, remember, I'll always love you.

Date night with my little

Friday night came and found Dixon under the weather, so I asked Sawyer if he would be my date. He was so excited. Dixon pulled him up on his lap and explained that boys are gentlemen and they pay for dinner, he then asked him if he had any money. Sawyer's eyes lit up as he told his dad, "new toy" (aka his cash register with his coins and credit card).

And so we went on a date, just me and my little two year old. When I asked him where he wanted to go on our date, he suggested the pet store and "old McDonalds" for some French fries.

I love watching my son in a pet store. He is so curious about everything and runs from one animal to the next, keeping a close eye on me to make sure I'm seeing what he's seeing. And yes, I see those animals too, but mostly I see the curious two year old that is my son and I miss him. Its like I realize all at once that these moments are just that. Moments. And before I know it he'll be letting go of my hand and for a brief second I already miss him. Isn't it funny how our mama hearts do that?



We opted for Wendy's instead of "Old McDonald's.". I like their half apple pecan chicken salad. We went inside and ate, because it was a date, and my boy was beside himself. To top off the night, during our dinner, an ambulance came and parked right outside our window. My boy was in Heaven. French fries and ambulances, what more could you want?





Oh my sweet boy, how I love dates with you. I hope you are never too old to go on dates with your mama. On our way home he said "fun on date mom." "sawyer's happy, mom" "mama's happy?"

Yes sawyer. Mama is so happy to be your date.

After i brought him home and tucked him in, i went to a park so i could be alone to do some thinking and some soul-searching. Motherhood is the hardest thing I've ever done. I'm so disappointed in myself when I act out of frustration and have a short fuse. Lately I feel like that fuse has gotten shorter and shorter and with it, I am harder and harder on myself. It is by far the most mentally challenging thing I have ever done, trying to remain positive with myself and trust my motherly instincts is exhausting.

But oh how I love it. I love him with everything that I have. Always will.

This date was just what I needed. I think he needed it just as much as I did. Can't wait for our next date!

You know that feeling when your goals are just barely out of reach?
Ya it's been one of those weeks for me.

And literally one of those weeks for Sawyer!

Almost two months have gone by since my last post. I've been in a little bit of a funk. I feel like life is speeding by too quickly and I just don't have enough words to explain how I'm feeling, so instead of attempt to blog, I don't. You know those days where you just need something to inspire you? A new decoration, a trip your looking forward to, or something delicious your wanting to cook? I've been needing something to inspire me. And this Saturday I got just that.

We went to a place called Gilcrease Orchards. Oh my lanta, an orchard in Vegas that's only 7 minutes from my house. Why have I never heard about it before??? We picked fresh carrots, beats, kale, and sugar snap peas. Sawyer drove his cars through the dirt, and my heart has been so happy. I tossed those veggies in some olive oil, sprinkled them with some sea salt and roasted them in the oven for 20 minutes. So good. Like I'm going back on Tuesday when their open again good.














I've been thinking a lot about life lately. How you have a plan and you totally have in your head exactly how you want your life to go... But it doesn't go that way at all. Infact, it goes completely in the opposite direction, and your going "wait this isn't part of the plan." I love that Heavenly Father knows me better than I know myself and that he has a plan for me and my little family.

I'm grateful he doesn't stick to my plan because his is exactly what I need to be better and to stretch myself.

So I'm enjoying the little things. Sawyer saying "bye poops" when he flushes the potty (makes me laugh every time), a cool breeze on a warm spring day, friends that chat like they have all the time in the world to talk to you, a husband who makes the bed just because he knows it makes me happy, a diet coke with extra ice to accompany my park dates with Sawyer, and a great book that keeps me up until 2 am. So grateful these little things are in my life.

So grateful they are my extraordinary moments in the ordinary day.

It's been awhile. I can't say I have a good excuse. I don't. I have just been soaking in my little two year old. I find myself loving motherhood... All of it. I have loved every age for different reasons, but two, two has been magical. He is his own little person. He can count to three. He has been going on the big boy potty and has to read ESPN magazine when he's doing his business



(Sit them facing backwards, fits their little bum better and if they spray, they spray the seat not the floor.) we have a points system: m&ms for number 1, a hot wheels car for number 2. So far he's earned 4 cars and lots of m&ms (lovingly pronounced as nummynums). I have to stop myself and can't believe he's old enough to sit on the potty. He knows all his colors and knows how to count to three. And he carries on conversations with me. He's my buddy. I love spending my days with him.

He loves basketball, he loves when I set his hoop outside, he'll play with that hoop for hours. Best dollars I've ever spent.





My momma heart is full. And as we approach valentines day this week, I am so grateful to have this little love bug in my life.

A year in review

When I look back at this past year my heart swells with gratitude at all the adventures we were able to have. We've been to the beach three times, made it to Disneyland two times, went up to Brianhead for a weekend, and have made a few trips to Utah. We've spent time as our little family making lots of memories and starting new traditions. We have had our challenges that we have learned and grown from. This past year has really stretched me and helped to push me outside my comfort zones. We have made new friends along the way and have enjoyed serving in our callings as ward missionary and activity days leader. We have watched our sweet baby boy grow into a curious toddler that has such a big heart. I've overcome a surgery that hopefully will help my body to be stronger and healthier. We have attended concerts featuring Jacky's mannequin, shania twain and Tim McGraw and Faith Hill. We celebrated a happy 4 years of marriage by going on a mini vaca at the strip. We went on our first spontaneous trip as a family, that hopefully is the start of many more spontaneous trips. Sawyer and I spent two full weeks in Utah with my family this summer, where I learned that quality time is more important than quantity of time. We've cheered sisters on in dance, soccer, and volleyball. We have come to love our Savior more, and have enjoyed having Family Home Evenings every Monday. I ran my first half marathon and learned so much about myself in training and running it. It truly has been a remarkable year. As I set out to greet 2013, I hope to enjoy the moments a little more, exercise more patience with myself, and serve a little more. I'm so grateful for this journey and for the many people I get to experience this journey with.

I'll leave you with a few(ok a lot) of my favorite pictures from this past year.

Festivus for the rest of us

Christmas has come and gone. It's crazy to think that all that anticipation and buildup is over in one day! We have been so blessed this Christmas season and have been busy busy busy. The good kind of busy that means it's the holidays. Here are a few things that we have been up to this holiday season:

1. We went to the Shania Twain concert for my birthday and got our tickets upgraded to practically the front row. Oh my goodness, she is gorgeous, I've been a fan of hers since I was in elementary school. Seeing her on stage was so much fun. Of course no pictures were taken to document this experiment.
2. We went to the Tim McGraw and Faith Hill concert. I touched Tim's hand. I touched his hand. I touched his hand... Did you see that I touched his hand. This concert was so fun because it was such an intimate setting and they really involved the audience.


3. Sawyer was so not ok with Santa. We waited in line for all of 45 minutes at our ward Christmas party to get a picture with Mr Claus, and Sawyer was not ok. He needed his mama, he needed his daddy, and he did not need this stranger that everyone is so excited about.


4. We've been celebrating our cool weather appropriately by dressing in some handsome winter clothes. I can't stand it when he looks like a little man



I go a little picture crazy when he's looking all stylish and he gives me looks like this:



5. We've been going to lots of Rebel games. Sawyer loves them. He loves the fireworks and says "boo" when they miss a shot and "whoo hoo" when they make a basket. He also enjoys his pb&j sandwiches during the games.


6. Grandma Kathy gave us this fun gingerbread tree set, and we had a fun family night setting that up! My boys especially lived the candy. Sawyer will do just about anything to get a mint m&m. Those are his absolute favorite. Like mama like son?!





7. On the Sunday before Christmas we went and saw Dixon's grandma and Grandpa. They gave Sawyer a fire truck. My boy has been in heaven. In the clouds. I can't seem to get his attention when he's playing with that toy!


Christmas Eve is just as important to me as Christmas day... If not, more. I have such fond memories of going to my Aunt Marie's house and being with my extended family. And on our drive home we would always look for Rudoph's nose, and Dad always seemed to find it for us. I loved leaving a note with cookies and milk and carrots for the reindeer and that feeling of excitement so strong you don't want to sleep. This Christmas we stayed close to home. We went to the Leavitts for Christmas Eve and had the traditional prime rib with yummy nummy sides. We played family games together and exchanged Jammies. We felt the spirit together and listed to the story of our Savior's birth. We were in the company of family, and it truly was a magical night. We came home and took Sawyer to bed and got to work being Santa's elves, putting together a big boy car and filling stockings. I was so excited for him to wake up, I was up and got ready at 6:15 am.


We woke him up at 7:30 because we were going to Skype with Elder Chase at 9:00, and wanted him to have time to open his gifts. The traditional "waiting on the stairs" picture. Its tradition at my house to wait on the stairs while dad goes downstairs to check everything out.


He was beyond excited to see this car waiting for him, he loves it. He lovingly refers to it as "new vroom."


On our way to Skype with Elder Chase. He was so happy that morning. I wish I could have frozen time just a Little bit that morning. This age was so magical this Christmas.





We had a lovely day. We went and saw Les Miserables. I'm in love with that musical. I have been ever since I saw a high school production of it my Jr. Year. I love the music, it speaks to my soul, and makes me feel something that can rarely be expressed in words. It is so moving. Sawyer was so excited to get home and play with all his new cars, and this is what entertained him for the rest of the night:


The piano keys are like the parking stalls for all the vehicles. I am finding cars lined up more and more. Sometimes by color, other times by shape and I love it. It brings back so many memories of when My little brother, Landon, was that age. My how time flies.