Date night with my little

Friday night came and found Dixon under the weather, so I asked Sawyer if he would be my date. He was so excited. Dixon pulled him up on his lap and explained that boys are gentlemen and they pay for dinner, he then asked him if he had any money. Sawyer's eyes lit up as he told his dad, "new toy" (aka his cash register with his coins and credit card).

And so we went on a date, just me and my little two year old. When I asked him where he wanted to go on our date, he suggested the pet store and "old McDonalds" for some French fries.

I love watching my son in a pet store. He is so curious about everything and runs from one animal to the next, keeping a close eye on me to make sure I'm seeing what he's seeing. And yes, I see those animals too, but mostly I see the curious two year old that is my son and I miss him. Its like I realize all at once that these moments are just that. Moments. And before I know it he'll be letting go of my hand and for a brief second I already miss him. Isn't it funny how our mama hearts do that?



We opted for Wendy's instead of "Old McDonald's.". I like their half apple pecan chicken salad. We went inside and ate, because it was a date, and my boy was beside himself. To top off the night, during our dinner, an ambulance came and parked right outside our window. My boy was in Heaven. French fries and ambulances, what more could you want?





Oh my sweet boy, how I love dates with you. I hope you are never too old to go on dates with your mama. On our way home he said "fun on date mom." "sawyer's happy, mom" "mama's happy?"

Yes sawyer. Mama is so happy to be your date.

After i brought him home and tucked him in, i went to a park so i could be alone to do some thinking and some soul-searching. Motherhood is the hardest thing I've ever done. I'm so disappointed in myself when I act out of frustration and have a short fuse. Lately I feel like that fuse has gotten shorter and shorter and with it, I am harder and harder on myself. It is by far the most mentally challenging thing I have ever done, trying to remain positive with myself and trust my motherly instincts is exhausting.

But oh how I love it. I love him with everything that I have. Always will.

This date was just what I needed. I think he needed it just as much as I did. Can't wait for our next date!