Oh there's no place like home for the holidays

This year for Christmas Dixon and I both had the whole week off, so we journeyed on up to Utah. It's probably been 5 years since we have both been in Utah for that long of a time and we had a blast.
Whenever I travel to Utah I usually have a hard time enjoying the moment. I'm too busy being sad or anxious that the days are slipping by and that we will have to go back to real life soon. But this trip... This trip was magical. I truly enjoyed every moment. And there was no wasted energy on being sad that I live so far from this family I love so much.

We stopped to visit Dixon's Grammy on our way up. We gave her a poinsettia and sang her the Rebel fight song. I think she was so grateful for our visit, and I imagine she was singing right along with us.



This is the first Christmas since my Grandpa Silcox passed. And with that realization, lots of emotions swam through my head when we went out to Tooele to have dinner with my grandma. I have such fond memories of the two of my grandparents. There aren't any memories I have of just one or the other, they were always side by side. My grandma did a great job on his headstone, and I enjoyed visiting with him and wishing him a merry christmas. It's still so weird that he's gone. I kept looking up expecting him to come walking into the room when we were at grandma's house. Sometimes this whole growing up thing brings so many growing pains.


So I was needing my hair colored in bad ways, and Kenadee wants to go to hair school and had stuff for bleaching my hair... So I asked her to do my hair. She was so nervous. She's never even done color or highlights before. But I knew she could do it. And she did a great job. I will be going back to her again soon. Just one more reason to go back to Utah.
Sawyer loved the snow. We had two days of snow before Christmas, and we took advantage of it. Dixon and I had a snowball fight. And the boys built a snowman with the other little chicks. Oh snow. It does my heart good. Crisp air, beautiful scenery. Sigh.








Okay, this next picture I am framing. Didn't even plan to have us all matching. We all got ready and I looked around and said "family picture day!!" The boys were good sports. Family pictures are not their most favorite.


Syd is Sawyer's buddy and she rode with us to all the family parties. Sawyer loved having some attention in the car. He especially loved playing on her phone.


This is what happens when you take off your snow hat. I like to caption this picture with "it's Christmas. I'm so excited!"


Grandma Kathy is so cute with sawyer. He had so much fun with all my little cousins. I can never get a good picture there because the lighting is pretty bad. But we had a great time. We always go to grandma's on Christmas eve. Wouldn't quite be Christmas without it!


Dixon finally got to meet Baby Beck. Oh that baby. I love him like my own. I had a hard time sharing with everyone. I just wanted him all to myself so I could love on him and rock him and study every detail of his changing little self. Ky and Nate are the cutest parents, so in sync with one another.


And this my friends is sawyer's big gift this year. It went right by the Christmas tree and when he saw it he didn't want to open anything else. And that is one of the thins I love about kids. They don't need much. I'm trying to be more like a child in that regard.


I don't have any pictures of Christmas morning. I was too wrapped up In watching my little three year old soak in the magic. Santa spoiled us this year. Mom and dad still make it a point to make it magical. My heart is so full. I don't know where to start. There is something about being in the home I grew up in with all my siblings there that just did me in. I know those Christmases will be getting fewer and farther between as everyone gets married and has children of their own.

Syd and I have always been "s buddies" because our names both start with s. When she was born I told my mom her name had to start with an s because she had two "k's" and two "L's". And so they named her Sydnee. We call her Siddle... Like skittle. And when she was a baby I was her mom. Ok not really, but I loved her like a mother, I carried her everywhere. There are very few pictures at that time when I do not have Syd with me. I would come home from school and want to hold her and love her. And now she's the big 12?! When did that happen? Anywho. Mom got us matching S sweaters so we can increase our S buddy love.


Dixon and I took advantage of free babysitters and went to the Bountiful temple. We haven't been there since we were sealed nearly 5 1/2 years ago. So many memories came flooding back. That was the temple I went to every week in high school with my dear friend. I have learned a lot about myself there. My testimony has grown there. I married my best friend there. My family is forever because we went there. I love it there.


We went to temple square to see the lights. And I was surprised at how warm I was. I thought for sure I would freeze. Like snot turning to icecicles freeze. But it was just perfect. We parked at City Creek and walked over. Sawyer loved those fountains.


Ok let's talk about how happy my my heart is when I look at this picture. We are just missing Ky, Nate, and Beck. It was a little too chilly for Beck so they opted to stay home. But seriously, this picture. Mom and dad were married there many years ago. I am so grateful to be a part of this forever family. And as we grow and and our family changes, I am reminded that it all started with two love birds and their righteous choice to be sealed in that temple.


Dixon took Sawyer to Boondocks so I could love on Beck. The kid was in high heaven. Mini bowling and basketball for days. Dixon said he was a hoot. I love that my husband will take him and do things with him. They are such good friends.





And Beck. Let's talk about how scrumptious he is! His little cheeks have filled out a little since I last saw him, his eyes are lightening up I'm thinking blue. And his baby hair is turning blonde like his mommy and daddy. He is so sweet. He doesn't fuss very much, and he loves his mommy. It was so fun to just watch Kylee with him. She has the mother's touch and knows whatevery cry means. I just couldn't get enough of him. Held him at dinner while everyone ate so I could get more time with him. I love him like my own.


And those were the hilights. Let's not eave out late nights beating Lyndee at speed and Dixon beating Cam at basketball. Or being fed like kings. Seriously my dad put on quite the spread. Or making Carmel apples with mom and Syd: a small project turned big. Or that time we took a family picture at night, outside, in 20 degree cold. Or the magic that surrounded us on Christmas Eve when testimonies were shared and our family unit was strengthened. I hope I never forget the way dad's eyes twinkled when we opened a gift we weren't expecting, or mom's quiet happiness emanating from her to have all her kids under the same roof. I hope I never forget how I feel so welcome and loved in their home. I hope I never forget how Lyndee is so good about getting out there and doing something. And How much of a tease my tall brother is. I hope I don't forget how happy Ky was to have me in her home. Every trip home fills me to the brim and propels me forward. To be better. To do better. And this trip was no exception.

And because my husband is awesome he took this picture of me in the car. I'm exhausted. In the good exhausted kind of way.


And Santa wasn't done. Sawyer came home to find Santa had left a gift by our tree. Can't wait to see what he cooks up!


I am so grateful for this season. For our Savior who loves us. And for the opportunity it gives us to draw closer as a family and make memories together that bind us together.

Merry Christmas!

On turning 3

My sweet boy turned three this past week. Three. This age is magical. His dad and I are cool in his eyes. We are enough for him right now. And I like that. I know the day will come when I'm not his superhero and when I can't fill all the needs that he has and fight all his bad guys. But right here right now, I am enough.

Some things I want to remember about Sawyer at three years old: He is so polite and is constantly saying please and thank you. "Mommy I want a drink please." "Thank you for playing basketball with me" "mommy, I love you." He is talking so clearly and says complete sentences. "Mommy, when you come pick me up after work, then we will play basketball together." He is getting a lot better with sharing his toys, and naps are still pretty common. He has a very sweet spirit. He hates to disappoint, yet he has confidence in himself and can be stubborn when he really wants something. He is an observer, the wheels are always turning. He observes first and then tries it out. He's a very good listener, always quick to follow through with what I ask him to do. He has a love for his aunts. Oh how he loves them, they spoil him and make him laugh and he loves to be with them. But his uncle Landon, uncle chase, grandpa rob, and bompi have a special spot in his little heart. I melt watching him with those male role models. He is so lucky to have so many people that love him so much!! He is a very picky eater, his menu consists of: yogurt, pancakes, cinnamon life cereal, peanut butter sandwiches, grilled cheese, clementines, carrotts, applesauce, bananas, apples, and snacks of course. No meat. Not even pepperoni on a pizza. He is my singer. I often find him singing I am a child of god or the rebels fight song. And he loves to listen to Taylor Swift and Dia Frampton.

Sawyer has a slight obsession with basketball. Mostly the UNLV rebels. He knows the whole UNLV roster, and carefully examines that roster each day pointing out all the different players to me. He speaks so clearly, with a quiet confidence, and has the sweetest little voice.

He has so many cute little friends in nursery, I thought it would be fun if we had a little basketball party for him. Nothing crazy, just getting his little friends together to shoot some hoops and play ball. He loved it so much. He asks me everyday if he gets to have another party.

The star player himself.









Dixon and I made the basketball cupcakes. I made a few mini ones and a few regular size. Dixon helped me draw the lines. You would have thought sawyer would love these, but he insisted that I make a green cupcake for him, because green is his most favorite color. So I made three green ones, because he's three. And it's his birthday so he can have green if he wants it.

















I just had mini bags of popcorn, cupcakes, peeled clementines(cuz hello they look like basketballs), and little kool-aid pouches. It turned out perfect. Not too much, not too little. Just right.

















And lyla came to the party too. Because again, it's his birthday and if he wants his dog there, he can have his dog there.
Lyla had the look of "oh for the love, please someone help me."

He had such a fun little party. He had 7 friends come. And I loved watching him have fun with all his lil friends. Nothing warms a mama heart like watching your little enjoy the company of his cute friends. A mothers prayer is constantly including the hope that her little will feel loved and accepted by his peers.

His birthday morning was just as sweet. He woke up and came downstairs for breakfast and was so surprised to see his pile of presents waiting for him. This age is so much fun because he totally gets the whole presents thing.

















Playing with his bat cave with his best buddy. These two are the sweetest of friends.








Blowing out his candles on his birthday. We rarely see him without a jersey on these days. I have to bribe him to wear something warm so we can leave the house. Cracks
me up. We walk in from whereever we have been and shorts and shirts and undies are flying off and bare bums are running upstairs
To change into basketball shorts and basketball jerseys and socks. Because that's what the basketball players wear.








And just because I think he's so stinkin cute I included the following picture.








I must say, As our year is coming to an end and we've celebrated another birthday I've been thinking a lot about how our family looks completely different from how I thought it would look when sawyer turned three years old. And yet it's just perfect. I have so enjoyed just soaking this time up with my little three year old. He is my happy thought. He is my little buddy, he makes my world go round and round. I am so grateful to be his mama.

Happy birthday my sweet three year old.

My mental camera

There are days in motherhood when your constantly taking mental pictures and storing them away in your mommy file to reflect on at a later time. The moments when you look at your kid and wonder "when did he get so big?" "did he really just do that by himself?" today was one of those days, and my mental camera was ready for the many little moments.

We went to the park today with his tennis ball in tow. He was so cautious not to lose it and made sure that ball was in sight at all times. "play wis me mommy," was said over and over and so we bounced the ball together and ran around till we were sweaty and hungry.

We went and visited daddy at work. It's such a special occasion to visit daddy's office and Sawyer was so excited. We were leaving his office and Sawyer tugged on my hand and said, "mommy, look!" The Elevator. Usually I would tug him in the other direction and try to convince him that the elevator wasn't working. But not today. Today was a day for mental pictures. So I walked with my boy to the elevator and rode it up, and rode it down. It made his whole day. We practically skipped out to our car.

He made up a game today. All by himself. He takes his tennis ball and throws it, then runs to his cash register and types in numbers and then looks at me and says, "I Won!" and so of course I can't help but join in with him and throw the tennis ball while he types in numbers only to tell me that "mommy, you didn't win." it's ok son, today is a day for mental pictures, you can win today.

I made some "moon sand" today with some flour and baby oil and gave him some tools and he was so happy to play with it. It was a great sensory activity and he thought it was the coolest thing ever that I was letting him have free reign with it. As in it got everywhere and I didn't so much as bat an eyelash. He kept looking over at me with those eyes of astonishment, probably thinking, "when is she going to stop me?" I wont stop you today son, today is a day for mental pictures.

And to end our day my sweet boy and I went to the park again. Tennis ball in tow and enjoyed ourselves a most beautiful sunset. I can feel fall teasing us. I can sense the change that is coming. I like change. The street lights came on which is our cue that it is time to go home. He grabbed his tennis ball and we strolled on home. In the red stroller of course, because that's the one he wanted to ride in.

Makin memories. Takin pictures and makin memories. My mental camera is full of wonderful moments with my little. I love makin memories with him.

Happy thoughts

After days like today, I couldn't help but scroll through my phone and find happy pictures. My patience was worn pretty thin today. Sometimes after hard days I need happy thoughts. And these pictures that were taken recently provide plenty of happy thoughts.




























You know Peter pans secret to flying was happy thoughts! Hope we send some happy thoughts your way!!

Conversations with a two year old

Mom: "we are out of milk buddy."
Sawyer: "it's ok I'll run to the store"
Gets in his car and rides around the house. Stops at the fridge, puts something inside, and comes back over to me.
Sawyer: "I got milk, mom."

I opened the fridge a little later and found this. Sure enough, my boy went to the store and got us milk.

A child's prayer

As we were going through our bedtime routine, we knelt to say our prayers and Sawyer told me he wanted to say them by himself. It was such a sweet prayer. So simple. And in return, I said my own prayer of heart felt gratitude that he wants to say his prayers. You hope with all your heart that your kids will have a desire to have a relationship with their Heavenly Father. To see his little self knelt in prayer by the side of his bed just about made my heart burst.
"Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you for this day. Thank you for mommy and daddy. Thank you for Heather and Janie (we had just facetimed them, so they were fresh on his mind). Help me listen to daddy. Say these things (mumble mumble mumble) Amen."

Disneyland Adventures

Let me preface this Post with this: I've had my moments of "mommy guilt" when I feel like I'm a horrible mother for working part time. But then there are moments when my hard work pays off. This past April my branch won a trip to Disneyland. They put us up at the California Adventure Hotel and spoiled us on Friday-Sunday. This is the time when I really love my job.

I love making memories with my little family. Nothing warms my heart more than spending time with people I love. And my two boys have my whole heart.
We decided to head down to California on Thursday so we could spend some time with my childhood friends. I love them like my sisters. And their two girls... Well they had my heart at hello. We're trying to work out an arranged marriage for Sawyer;). We just needed Kylee and Baby B there and our twin posse would have been complete. (picture credit goes to my hubby, how did he get all the chillers to look at the camera? He's a Baby whisperer I tell you)


Sawyer had so much fun there, he fell asleep like this. I couldn't resist taking a picture, I haven't seen him sleep like this side he was a baby.


The next day was Disneyland. And oh behold the magic of Cars Land. My favorite thing on this trip was watching Dixon and Sawyer together. They are such buddies.


The carousel was my little's favorite ride. He's a simplistic kind of guy, he needs spinning around and around, not such big crowds or lines, and he likes to have his own horsie. I was lucky enough to get to ride on the back of the horse after promising him an ice cream cone.


I was so impressed with his patience in lines. The Toy Story Mania ride was the longest line we waited in. 50 minutes. But he knew we were waiting to play a video game, so that somehow made it ok? Boys and their video games.





And oh his face when he saw Lightening and Mater. Forget the rides, forget the popcorn, and music, and parades. This boy was all about his friends.


Again with the horsies. How can you resist a face that looks like that? Why yes son, we can go on that ride again and again and again.


Don't even get me started with the fireworks show. That show and the world of color get me teary. Something about the music and the lights. It just gets me thinking how wonderful that Walt's dreams really came true. He has truly created a place where everyone can connect with the child within. Jeepers, I'm embarrassing when I ramble.


Back to my boys. Sawyer was beyond excited to ride the tea cups. What is it that makes those cups so appealing? I mean, I loved them too as a kid. And then I got old and suddenly I feel a little green in the face when the ride is slowly spinning to a stop. For the love of your kids.





We ran into Donald at Toon Town. Sawyer ate that place up. We spent a good hour and a half doing absolutely nothing other than walk around and look at all the houses.


I love this picture. He just wanted some time to play with his guys. He made sure they had breakfast and took naps, and even took a few on the rides. Cracks me up how much he loves them.


See, he has Sarge in his hands... Couldn't let Sarge miss out on the ride, this is us at 8:30 pm. As in, the boy that didn't take a nap. He was that happy all day long. Where did he come from, and how on earth can I bottle up some of that cuteness?





Oh and you should have seen his face when he saw his name on the sign. He was positive it was because he is that awesome. I told his to stand there and say cheese. He stood there and said "cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese". Longest cheese ever. I've trained him well.


So that was that. I have soaked in some California sea breeze, had my share of laughs, connected with the child within, and am grateful as all get out that those boys are mine. I mean really, how am I so lucky?

Sawyer loved Disneyland. But his happiness there, had nothing on when he got home and saw Lyla. The boy went to high heaven. Took his pants off, and ran straight outside to play soccer with his puppy. Or as I say, he was so happy it knocked his pants off.


Favorite memories from our trip in no specific order:
- on our way to CA we took a potty break. 5 minutes later comes a voice from the back seat, "daddy, I gotta poop." oh geez.
- Sonic Diet Coke run and catching up with my dear friend
- getting out of the car after the long drive and Sawyer saying, "good job Daddy, I'm proud of you."
- Racing down the hall to our room in the hotel. I've never seen Dixon run so fast
- while waiting in line Sawyer would quote his favorite books. His favorite quote was from "Are you My Mother?" it says, "down down down its a long way down."
-making his car dance to Captain EO
- making sure to tell me after a ride that was a little scary, "it's not scary!"
-seeing Donald, "hi Donald, what doin today?"
- telling me to "take a picture"